Monday, November 30, 2009

Like a son or like a servant

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 11/30/09 Monday 13 Kislev 5770

Page base - 8 lines from the top (after the parentheses).

The koach hametzaveh in the mitzvah are hidden. Mitzvot are like shluchim, on the level of ohr davuk.

About doing mitzvot it is said, man with do them, and live by them. That is to say the life force of them functions in the person. This means it is a revealed light.

Kabalas ol involves giving over oneself – with nothing excluded. This is tshuvah, which is return. It is a return to Him, not an addressing of a blemish. Addressing a blemish is specific action; return/tshuvah is a return to the place of origin – this is a return to source and a complete change of state.

For video, click here.

"I have no business being in the world... "

B”H  Notes from Yehudah

11.29.09 (Sunday, 12 Kislev) p.2 (top)

What is the yisron/advantage in teshuvah over all other mitzvos? It cannot be that teshuvah reaches into etzm when other mitzvos don’t – b/c mitzad the commander of the mitzvos (the mitzaveh) all mitzvos are one.

Gilui ha ratzon – ratzon is already present in a revealed state, not in its original level before it is a present ratzon. In our world the rule comes after the fact (traffic light to prevent a crash). In this there are 2 levels: (1) you want that there should be no crashes, but this is after the fact that something already exists (the existence is already present). Gilui ha ratzon – if there will be such a possibility that there will be a crash then you must prevent it. Gilui ha ratzon where there is already the possibility that there is multiplicity. In this ratzon itself there is the koach ha mitzaveh. Why should there be peace? Not just that there shouldn’t be a crash, but that this represents the koach ha mitzaveh – but this is b’helem.

Mitzvahs given to purify the people. This means that there is already a briah and the possibility of being impure. This is already the gilui of the ratzon. Then [#2?] there is the inyan that there is the mitzaveh ha mitzvos (i.e. the whole world was created so that there should be the inyan of mitzvos). Whole reason the mitzvos given so that the mitzaveh could be present in the world. Ultimately when we keep the mitzvos we change the fabric of the world itself. Recreates the world in the image of the mitzaveh.

Kabbalos ol malchus shamayim – must relate to the heavenly kingdom. Why do you need to have 2 steps, first accepting malchus shamayim then accepting mitzvos. Through the mitzvah itself you are not necc recognizing the mitzaveh of the mitzvos. This is a separate step of relating to the malchus shamayim directly. I have no business being in the world if I don’t have the melech. Otherwise what is the point of being here. Who says I have to be a mitzeus and what is the point of my mitzeus? How can he go on mesiras nefesh? His recognition of the melech is even deeper than his recognition of himself. Soldier goes to war, he is on the front lines and enemy is aiming a gun at him. He has to keep his mind, aim at the enemy and shoot. How does this ordinary person have the presence of mind to do this right? If he is thinking about his own safety he is for sure going to get shot and not going to be able to do his job. He must focus exclusively on what he has to do. He is dedicated to the reason for the war; he is dedicated to the melech. Pointing at me is pointing a gun at the melech / at my kingdom. With this insight he is completely oblivious to the danger. This is kabbalas ol malchus shamayim. What defines my mitzeus; I am an eved of the melech. Foot (Soldier) is concerned about being damaged, not because he will be damaged, but that this will damage the head (king).

Kabbalos ol is shyiach to something that is a separate mitzeus. You are a mitzeus but that you are mekabbel the ol. It doesn’t nullify your mitzeus but it subjugates your mitzeus.

Shliach – gilui l’vad. Something separate from the mishaleach. He can relate to the mishaleach because the mishaleach told him what to do. The shliach can only be created through the revealed ratzon of the mishaleach. But we also say that the shliach has the power of the one who sent him.

Mitzvos are ohr that remains dovek to the etzm. Fact that ohr would disappear if you put a partition, this does not represent the principle that it is dovek to the etzm, it means that it is dependent on the etzm. The ohr that hits the ground is not ohr in the pure sense; this is ohr that combines with darkness. If we saw light itself we wouldn’t see the object. This is not pure ohr that remains dovek with the etzm that represents what the etzm is. This light represents a light that can recognize darkness. Etzm knows no such thing as darkness. Then there is day – that the whole atmosphere is lit up. This does represent sun. It is not a functional light. It is an essential state. When ohr represents the maohr, then we say it is dovek b’maor.

Even though mitzvos are an inyan of ratzon and have an application in the world (like ohr l’hair) nevertheless they are not like ohr l’hair – you are doing them because you are relating to the mitzaveh. In the mitzvos there is the inyan of the mitzaveh. Even in the practical level they remain dovek to the etzem. This is the presence of the king in the world. It represents the etzm but it outside the etzm (this is the idea of being a shliach).

Kabbalos ol connects you directly to the melech. Ohr dovek to the etzm is not a direct connect to the king itself.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Depth of the depths

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 11/27/09 Friday 10 Kislev 5770

From the line starting lemayla - 4th line from the bottom of page one.

The advantage of tshuvah over all the other mitzvahs, that it reaches to the dept of depths, nevertheless from the side of the source of all wills, they are all equal – ie even tshuvah is on the same level.

Life as we experience it is not true life – it is the connection of the nefesh and the body.

The life of the neshama does not dissipate – it is G-dly.

We are sensitive to external effects. The neshama is sensitive since it is through and through life.

There is no passive state for the neshama – not since it is ill at ease, but since it is alive.

The ratzon for the mitzvot is from Him – there is no external cause and hence are all equal.

The mashal to show this is that a kohein to serve in the temple has to be without blemish. To be complete it does not matter if the blemish is on his toe nail or his face. So too from the One who will it – every detail is like the whole thing.
The nefesh rises up to hashem all the time, but it is by choice.

We are trying define the advantage of tshuvah over other mitzvah's even though for Him they are all equal, and why does tshuvah reach up to the deeper ratzon – what is its quality?

A will that can't be satiated

AyinBase with R' Paltiel.  Thursday Night 11.26.09 

For video click here.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Having Him in the world

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 11/26/09 Thursday 9 Kislev 5770

Middle of page one – line starts, “hachet”.

The effect of tshuvah is that the situation will revert to its original state, and higher than that.

The ratzon that was withdrawn; Hashem made the world and each person, why does he want each person? He has 613 reasons – these are the 613 mitzvot. If there is a blemish, then one of the reasons is missing – there is a lack of G-dly life flow.

Here the life flow is not existing. The chassid who was blessed with long days, wanted to make sure they were G-dly days filled with awareness of Him. To get this life the neshamah must be connected with elokus.

Logical proof that He created the world is not a connection. A direct neshamah experience of the G-dly in the wold is the connection – a recognition of the inyan eloki in the world and in his life.

Doing mitzvot is to connect to and represent Him, who is commanding us. Tshuvah returns us to Him.

In this lower world, there cannot be a primary ratzon; wants in this world are to satisfy something that is missing. Nothing has its own essential state of being.

But mitzvot are representative of the baal haratzon himself – this is where world connects to Him. Why not connect to him directly? If we did we would cease to exist. Connecting through mitzvot allows for the miracle of 2 opposites – you have Him and yet the world remains a world. The platform for doing mitzvot is not world it is atzmus.

For video click here.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Channels of life

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 11/25/09 Wednesday 8 Kislev 5770

The nefesh's whole purpose is the enliven the body, and that purpose remains, regardless of the state of the body. There are 613 ratzonot, and if one blemished, since it is contingent on the mitzvah, it will return to its source.

Before Rosh Hashanah the ratzon returns to its source and needs to be drawn down aftesh.

Tshuvah reaches higher than other mitzvot – it reaches to the source. It can elicit again the ratzon that was withdrawn.

The tshuvah (middle of page one) is a restoration to the original state, and even higher than the original state – he has a deeper/direct connection to the baal haratzon.

For video, click here.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Rooted in whole soul

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 11/24/09 Tuesday 7 Kislev 5770

above the middle – on the first page.

We started saying how can we do away with blowing shofar, which is associated with tshuvah. We say all mitzvot are equal and rooted in kesser and above.

The commander himself is above his will and He is the origin of mitzvot. Mitzvot are from the King Himself, not an adaptation for guiding humans at their level.

Tshuvah is a unique mitzvah in that it can repair a blemish in the connection between Hashem, above and the nefesh here below.

Everything in heaven and earth is due to the ratzon that goes through all these covers and masks – the real life is through the name havayah. Like a man's smallest actions are driven by his ratzon. So when there is a blemish – a severing in the connection to this ratzon, then the chayus is withdrawn.

Tshuvah will re-establish this connection.

There are two types of influx from above – ohr yashar (a direct light) and ohr chozer (a reflected light). If there is an obstacle the light may withdraw, and then by going back to the source of light is the will re-established. This time the flow is not in a style of “why not?” it now has a more intentional/conscious nature.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Shofar and the Shabbat

Today we started learning AyinBase. 

To see video click here

A step in the infinite

Today (Sunday 11.22.09) we marked the completion of the learning in the discourses that are part of AETER.  Tomorrow we plan to begin AyinBase - the Rebbe Rashab's discourses from the following year.

To see video footage click here and here.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Splitting the sea...

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/20/09 Friday 3 Kislev 5770 P:PayZayin

Last five lines – line starts with shimur.

Still our matzvah is a mitzvah – which is open to achizah from klipah, since it has a levush – and thus it needs shimur.

Reshus is above the level of mitzvah. It represents total arousal from above and revelation of essence. Atzmus is not a response to darkness – it defines what should be. Creation did not come in response to a need – it was initiated from essence.

This revelation, without any garment comes after midnight. There isn't the need for a transfer – all is automatically included – the flesh itself recognizes atzmus.

Splitting of the sea was a revelation of the essential lights of malchus. At the giving of the torah there was a deeper gilui – gilui of etzem.

For video click here

Seeing the Creator, rather than the created

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/19/09 Thursday Night. 2 Kislev 5770 P:PayZayin

Reshus means on open access, which is the idea of doing a mitzvah without being commanded to do it. So why do you do it? A mitzvah has its limit – it is not readily recognizable, but if the commander instructs then you are connected. Reshus goes to a deeper relationship, of realizing on your own of expressing the presence of the commander.

The matzah represents the connection to the malchus. One way is being told by Hashem, another way the presence of the king is right there. You eat matzah out of recognition of the presence.

Pay zayin – 6 lines from the top.

Reshus is a higher connection that cannot be corrupted. Yet we have mitzvahs with levush to get us to the stage of reshus. The principle of mitzvah is the emphasis that it represents the commander, rather than how it is pertinent to you. Mitzvah is the ability to free oneself from one's own metzius and do the will of the commander. He gave us this mitzvah. This the preparation of uniting with Him to the level where you don't need a command.

One can either say the world must have been made by the Creator, but you're based on the world. The level above that is seeing the Creator, rather than the created.

For video click here

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The real and the distractions

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/19/09 Thursday 2 Kislev 5770 P:PayZayin

Second line from the top, after the parentheses.

Thus reshus is on the 7th of Pesach since then there is a revelation of essential lights – the essence of the light, without the need for the participation of the participant. There is no inyan of mitzvah – nothing needs to be done from below.

Internally at matan torah, yidden had become one with elokus, but externally they were still influenced by the world. Not to say that that unity can be blemished by external factors, but there can be a distraction from the unity.

In the previous 6 days of Pesach there is also reshus and revelation, nevertheless the essence of this is on the 7th day.

The principle of malchus is presentation, the focus is external and includes everything. Past present and future, and all the points of space, can only be included in malchus. Malchus expresses itself in terms of incorporation, as opposed to chochmah, that focuses on its own inyan.

Thus the ohr as contained in malchus is within the realm of spreading out, but above malchus, as they are unto themselves there is no past, present and future, and thus represents the real inyan of etzem. This explains the difference between the 7th day of Pesach, where the lights were revealed as they are in malchus, in comparison to matan torah, which was a revelation of the lights as they are in essence.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Before your concern for breakfast

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/18/09 Monday 1 Kislev 5770 P:PayZayin

second line from the top, after the parentheses.

Sight is a very compelling reality, but you can close your eyes to it.

Then above that is a truth that you know intrinsically. Elokus is a truth that does not need proof.

It is ever present and cannot, but be present.

Elokus is something we know all the time, but due to the nature of conscience thought we lose sensitivity to it.

This is the difference between mitzvah and reshus. Mitzvah is a direct connect between the commander and the commanded, except it comes through a pathway – you and the commander are separate.

Reshus – you and the commander are integrated.

This is the concept of ohrot atzmiim – it is a true reality itself – not something discovered, and reshus follows from this. This is a direct connection. Like you don't have to tell yourself not to walk into fire – since you don't need sechel for that.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Revealing an essential truth

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/17/09 Sunday 30 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayVav

Lower third of the page. Starts, “bechinat haohrot atzmiim”.

A part of malchus, represents rommemus atzmius, and relates the people to it.

Splitting of the sea, means that the essential lights, that had been concealed, were revealed.

The rommemus of malchus is due to the fact that it contains essential lights. At kriat yam suf the rommemus aspect was split open.

Ohrot atzmiim – this is an essential truth, that has nothing to do with world, which is based on relative truth. When the essential lights are revealed it elevates the world. When there is a complete revelation from above then the lower level assumes an essential value.

Kriat yam suf and matan torah are two levels of the revelation of essence. A the splitting of the sea, the world experienced something that was beyond world. Malchus provides this elevation, but not in a revealed way.

This splitting/revelation reached all the way up to the highest level. There were “jumps” from level to level – as the medrash says, “my beloved resembles a deer”.

Friday, November 13, 2009

From the courtyard to the king's chamber

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/13/9 Friday 26 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayVav

Just less than half down the page. Starts, “demitzvah”.

Though the mitzvah has gilui of etzem, but the garment becomes preeminent.

There is a gift from above, but there is a shortcoming. When there is an arousal from below and then a response, there is the impression that the response was in proportion to the arousal/calling from below.

Elokus is an essential truth – it is not a compensation for a shortcoming. Because mitzvah is dressed in a levush that fits with the level below, thus it is a combination of revelation of essence, with consideration for the perspective of the lower world.

Mitzvah comes in a garment, that camouflages the elokus.

He made the world the fit the Torah, not the Torah to fit the world. It appears like mitzvah are done to accommodate the lower level – it has that ingredient.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Recognition and knowledge

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/12/9 Thursday 25 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayVav
About a 12 lines down. Starts, “bechinat yediah beinyan abba”.

The focus is on the limits that come with mitzvah, and the fact that it is a preparation for something else. This is like a child that recognizes his father and is drawn after him – this is not yet yediah.

This is like with mitzvah, which has a gilui of atzmus, yet still it is a recognition that comes through the garment of a mitzvah.

And the garment covers and becomes the main experience, preventing connection to the essence itself.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Light of Father

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/11/9 Wednesday 24 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayVav

About a third down. Starts, “bechinat yediah”

Mitzvah is ohr abba. There is ohr coming from above, as opposed to how it settles in below.

Why is a narrow passageway of a mitzvah needed as opposed to reshus? This is because it is an hachanah to what is to come. This is like a child that first recognizes “father” when he has the taste of grain. This is a true cognizance.

The child has a recognition, but lacks a full knowledge. In the first recognition is his still a separate entity. In the level of knowledge he is united with his father.

Everyone feels his own presence, but if this was all he was aware of, then he would be limited to experience/yeshus that needs constant support. The real personal awareness, where he does not need to be justified, that is due to the fact of being aware of his presence at a level beyond his factual presence.

This is perhaps the cause of many mental health issues. So much of the world sees itself as based on yeshus, and thus all is precarious.

Chassidus explains that elokus is that which does not need to be created. All comes from the truth of His existence. Thus all is founded on Him and is unquestionable.

The mitzvah is the presence of the father through a levush. The levush gover – the mitzvah invariably covers the light that is contained therein.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/10/9 Tuesday 23 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayHay

The last word on payhay.

Why do we have the mitzvah of matzah and not reshus? Through a gateway and not a full opening.

The reason is that even now there needs to be a preparation for the revelation that comes on the night of Pesach. The preparation is the gateway, even though we don't need the preparation like it was needed in mitzraim.

Our preparation is on a higher level. The preparation is from the mitzvah of matzah.

So too now there is a difference between the revelations before and after midnight. Even though the level of the gilui before midnight is on the level of yirah ilaa.

After midnight there is gilui of atzmus without any garement. This is not revelation by means of a gateway, this is a complete opening.

Here the levush is not gover al hagilui.

The gateway is like, “we are two separate people, but are attached” and the full opening, is were there is a level of union – no longer a gateway.
The power of sight: it gives us a sense of the reality itself.

Since sight lets us see the object in space, and space is something we know even with closed eyes, thus the object represents reality. Thus real reality is that which is infinite, and when something is conceived from this level of bli gvul then this gives the object a real reality, since it is sourced in infinity. It exists in space and represents an aspect of that space.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Breaking through the barriers of the heart

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/9/09 Monday 22 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayHay

about 10 lines from the bottom.

At matan torah there were a new inyan – He held a mountain over them.

Before matan torah this level of higher level love did not exist yet in the world.

The mind can deduce things. The heart can only perceive that which touches it directly. Ahavah and yira are felt when there is a direct perception. Chassidus has 2 categories of middot – those created by sechel, and those that don't go through a process.

Ahavah and yirah elyona is the direct perception of the heart. When He “held the mountain over them” they had the full impact of this – it broke through every barrier of the heart.

In mitzraim they were at a lower level. They didn't have the mitzvah of matzah. It was a chovah. Chovah is part of the person – an obligation that he has. A mitzvah by contrast is part of the commander.

Chovah is in the feminine aspect and mitzvah is masculine. In nukvah there is the need to sweeten the judgements, and this was the matzah they ate.

Dinim has to do with yeshus. Its whole metzius is focussed on what it is – this is dinim - “me versus you”. Hamtakah is the sweetening – bitul ha yesh – an aspect of opening and being able to receive something else.

There is the aspect of a command – ohr abba – masculine element, but in mitzraim it was still on the level of chovah. The ultimate gilui was at midnight. But now that we have torah and mitzvahs that have inherently kabalat ol and yirah ilah in them, we can now have the revelation before midnight.

A preparation for essence

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/8/09 Sunday 19 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayHay

pay hay – about a quarter – line starts, “vehadugmah meze”.

There is a time when a man is walking in to see the king and he has to reflect on where he is going so that when he meets the king and has the effect of the king's greatness, it is properly received by him.

This is similar to yirah tata – the king is seemingly not there and this is thus a created sense of bitul, achieved by hisbonenus. Nonetheless this is a preparation for the revelation of etzem.

We do not sense how the mitzvot are rooted in kesser.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A gateway

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/6/09 Friday 19 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayHay

pay hay – about a third from the top of the page.

We are looking at the principle that every chitzonius has a pnimius. The reason it makes sense to him is that he senses the greater truth, not just due to the logic.

Because he knows the ultimate reality, that is why the chitzonius makes sense to him. In kedusha, everything has an inner chayut and is accepted by sechel ha-adam, because deep down it makes sense. For example the reason why hashgacha pratis is acceptable to the mind is because the mind accepts at a deep level that the world is not a metzius, but a G-dly creation.

The inner sense of bitul tata is a higher level. The reason a man can act within limited parameters is because there is a bigger absolute reality beyond this, that he acknowledges.

We have the mashal of someone who is approaching the king and he is able to do this by virtue of his earlier preparation. Yirah tata is the preparation, even though there is no compare to the level of melech blo am (essence).

What is the function of the preparation? It is so that the arousal from above can be received and have the proper effect.

This is what is meant by, “this is the gateway to hashem” not a complete breakthrough – this is the matzah from before midnight – it is the preparation for the revelation from above.

or click here for video

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Eye, heart and mind

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/5/09 Thursday 18 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayDalet

pay dalet – line starts amnam – 8 lines from the bottom.

Usually there is a gateway, but at the time of Pesach there was a novel way; hashem jumped across enabling all to raise up – even those that lacked any arousal of their own.

Yet even for this there had to be some level of preparation, and that is eating matzah, which is the element of lowliness and taking on the yoke of heaven, without a full understanding. This enabled the revelation of atzmus.

The difference between matzah and chametz is that in chametz there is a chet and matzah has a hay – which is malchus. Hay also has a milui – spelling it out also with the letter hay as is seen in shem ban.

The milui is hidden. Both hay's represent malchus. Two levels of malchus. Malchus of ein sof comes through malchus of atzilus. For evey chitzoni is a pnimi that is unnoticed, but that gives it life. Still the chitzonius can assume a presence of its own and draw a person - “the eye sees and the heart desires” - the battle is to give a thought and maintain connection to pnimius.

A mitzvah is done on the external level of detail and action, yet as you pay attention to this you can see that it is due to Hashem's wanting it or that the deed is seen alone.

The principle here is that through chitzonius hamalchus we are ultimately connected to atzmus.

Malchus translates as yirah. And the two hays indicate the two levels. Lower level hay is bitul hayesh, not bitul beetzem, because there is at this point no gilui ohr, just that he nullifies himself by kabbalat ol or through hitbonenut.

Yirah ilah he is butul be etzem due to the ohr that is meir.

Bitul tata is a feigned bitul – he realizes he should subjucate himself, but internally he is the same. He does not really sense its significance – there's a lack of gilui ohr.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

From above, from below...

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/4/09 Wednesday 17 Cheshvan 5770 P:PayDalet

Pay dalet – line starts shehi in the middle of the page.

The root principle of pesach is something that does not come in a gradual orderly manner – this is jumping/skipping across – to refers to revelation of atzmus. Atzmus does not participate in graduate awareness. It is either totally oblivious or revealed in its full glory.

By means of this was the exodus from mitzraim. This made it possible even though the people were completely absorbed there.

This relates to what it says in Tanya that the choice of Hashem when he chose Israel, was in the guf not the neshamah. The body has an essential quality. He chose without the presence of meaningful criteria.

During exodus, He skipped over the entrance to the doorway. The entrance is the element of malchus.

An entrance, even though it is an opening, is limited. It is not open access without any division.

The limit is that you are capable of going up only if you have arousal from below. And the flow from above is in proportion to the initiation from below.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The flesh itself sings

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/3/09 Tuesday 16 Chesvan 5770 P:PayDalet

Atzmus is not known yet it is possible to have hiskashrus in inyan of atzmus ein sof.

Atzmus is beyond the level of hashpaa and gilui, which are levels indicating that the world was created outside the original reality. So one meditates that the inyan of etzem is inescapable – one cannot be outside the primary reality, even though he appears to be in a created world which prevents the identification of atzmus with sechel and middot.

The metziut itself can regonize being there, in atzmus. This is hiskashrus/unity with the makor/source.

He “grasps” this not by means of his faculties. Atzmus is beyond contrasts – it is the primary truth unto itself.

The flesh itself sings. How is this possible? How can flesh sing? Logically we can say if there is hashpaa and gilui there must be a source, but it is a non-participant. And the recipient does not relate to it.

There was once the concept of Hashem made the world and left it alone (even the process of evolution can fit with this perspective). The person's mind and heart are sensitive, but his flesh is unaffected.

But if we are aware that He never left his world, and that this is a reality beyond senses and faculties, then his heart and flesh sing and respond.

That which was a non-participant and irrelevant becomes the foundation and basis. He wants this world.

He is a participant in my existence with His own presence. This brings life to the very presence itself.

This is how it relates to the mashal from yesterday of father and son. Eventually the son realizes he is missing the father himself. The son realizes this is what makes him live – this gives him a real sense of presence.

Monday, November 2, 2009

His heart melts

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/2/09 Monday 15 Chesvan 5770 P:PayDalet

Line starts tzorech haolam. A third from the top.

We don't have a grasp of atzmus.

Memale and sovev are levels that relate only to hashpaa ve gilui – something that emanates – leaves its origin and has an affect elsewhere.

But atsmus is not in that category – it never leaves itself to go “elsewhere”. Its influence is not by means of hashpaa and gilui. Its hashpaa is by virtue of its very presence.

This means atzmus is a presence that is not translated. It is everywhere. It is sensed by his heart and flesh – it does not translate as an intellectual/sechel presentation. Atzmus cannot be identified as a separate entity. It does not lend itself to be observed from the outside.

The physical heart melts within him.

Like the earth wants to produce growth and support it, but is not seen as a participant, till you change focus and see it's activity/participation – so too, atzmus, though not recognized, is providing for everything.

A father plays hide-and-seek with his son. At first the son misses his play-mate, not the father per se. as the father remains hidden the son misses deeper and deeper aspects of their relationship and of the presence of the father. Till when he finds his father he realizes two things: His father was with him the whole time. And secondly all of his various desires had their level of significance, but the underlying factor that made all of them meaningful was the fact that he had a father. The son senses reality beyond experience.


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"Everyone, to love will come, but like a refugee"

Aeter with R' Paltiel 11/1/09 Sunday 14 Chesvan 5770 P:PayDalet

Line starts tzorech haolam – about a third down the page.

Freeing oneself from the imprisonment of the nefesh habahamit – has certain strategies.

Pnimius hatorah is from above. It is above/internal to one's experiences. It is tal torah – an assist from above. And there are occasions when he has to focus in on etzem elokus. Aszmus does not come to expression at all in the world (as opposed to memale and sovev which can be “deduced” from the world).

Memale and sovev are active, but atzmus is elokus as it is unto itself. We have no grasp of atzmus since its metzius is not know. We see the world and we see the elokus that comes to expressin in the world. We don't even know that it exists, even though you can say, “okay, here's the ohr so there must be a source,” this is not knowing the etzem.

In truth, this is how it is in our experience. Sovev and memale comes to expression only in hashpah and atzmus and atzmus is not in the category of hashpah and gilui. Thus there is no way to come to it from the world.

In sovev there is the sense that there is a real presence beyond what we are utilizing. He sees that the real reality beyond this world is a G-dly will – not a natural structure. Inyan ha atzmus, gives the world real presence, but is not translated on worldly terms at all – there is no chitzonius to it. It is just itself. It is not begeder hashpah.

Man takes elokus from etzem and not from world. How? He is mekasher to that which is beyond world. He realizes that metzius is not the real thing. It is real in the sense that there is chitzoni, cos atzmus wants it. Chitzonius of the world is actually not worldly, but since it represents inyan ha atzmius. Metzius of world represents etzem and we focus in on not what it is, but one He that made it.

Etzem – his physical heart melts and goes out of itself.

It seems like looking for the Father has to go beyond the personal need, to really find Him. He bypasses all secondary needs and realizes he just wants to see his father. How did he go beyond all his secondary needs?

Everything else is included in wanting to see his father. Wanting everything else was a miss focus. The real reason he wanted these other things was due to father – giving him a real sense of being.

If the child falls and gets hurt. He may get up without crying. On seeing the mother, the tears come. The significance of seeing the mother is that now he senses real life and the hurt. He senses he has a loving mother and shouldn't get hurt. Same thing when the child is missing his father, and at first it was for a secondary reason (food/playmate) and he goes beyond them and just wants his father. But the secondary things were wanted because they let him know father and meaning.