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Page 35 – a few lines above the middle of the page. Line starts “slichat avonot...”
We are talking about tshuvah. The point is that torah represents atzmus and the fact that there is a measure does not contradict this principle.
We had a question on this. We see tshuvah goes above distinctions of tov ve ra. And so it must be above measure, yet it is included in the torah. It seems to have no medida/measure at all. One may think that if tshuvah has no medidah then all the other mitzvot that do have measure are below it. The answer is that tshuvah is also has mididah/measure. Its effect is beyond measure. So where do we see its measure? In the fact that there has to be regret over the past, the element of measure is seen.
This regret is a measure, since it could be automatic. This is a requirement and not the actual activity itself. This is a measure – it could be one way or another way.
So if there is this requirement to tshuvah, how do you see it is above measure. This measure comes from pnimius hakesser (interior of the crown). It can only come from this level. As it explains that for Him “darkness and light are equeal”, therefore you could say this is how you get forgiven, since He was not really affected by my actions. But this is not the real answer. This would be chitzonius hakesser/makif. This is the level from which all can receive effluence.
This that it had no effect, means just turn and go the right way. This is not really tshuvah.
The pnimius hakesser does have medida. It is deeper and higher so why is there medidah at this level? There are the good deeds done “just in this world” and then there are deeds done that “represent His presence”. By means of deeds of that level the king Himself is brought into the world, and for this there has to be specificity.
In the presence of the king, each person has his absolute place. Everything is as the king wants it to be. The minister, general and simple soldier are all on the same level. They have no existence except for the king's existence. This is beyond the level where, we said, “it was not known if he preferred the work of the righteous or the evil”. At the level of the king's presence there is no possibility for evil.
Avraham Avinu by being ready to shecht Yitzchak, got a nation that was not for itself. He got a nation that goes through the Holocaust and says, “G-d loves us”. This is pnimius hakesser – this is not hashpah, this is Him Himself.
From the view of pnimius hakesser, your sin is rebellion against the King. Thus there has to be repentence, “I ask for forgiveness, regardless of the excuses, at that moment I didn't recognize You, I recognized my own metziut.”
“In the king's palace there are all types of servants. Those who prepare the meal and those who clear out the garbage”, says the Rucshener about his chassidim doing tachanun with simcha.
There is a difference between, “everything I have, I got from Him” and the second says, “the only thing that exists is Him”. This is where the requirement of tshuvah comes in – you regret, the past and the blemish in the king's palace; it is not a matter that you should be a good person, but that you bring perfection to His palace.
“He should shine his face to you” - His face comes only to you (the Yid). This is where forgiveness is rooted. It is not from the level that, “He can tolerate anything”, this is from pnimius hakesser.
... וחיי עולם
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