Like a fish in water

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 1/10/09 Sunday 24 Tevet 5770

On page 8 – 5 lines from the bottom. “base, samech yud” – is the start of the line.


Continuing to look at mah and ban. The principle presence of ban is declaration of their presence. Mah on the other hand is contained internally.


Internal chochmah is like we say light comes from the source without effort, but there is a difference between the sun and the nefesh. The nefesh does it with intent and this alludes to the 10 internal sphirot.


If there is intent there is the 10 sphirot automatically, because there is origination, development and execution of the intent.


Light from the sun is without intent. But the nefesh gives light, also automatically, the nefesh is essentially life, and gives it to the body, it is automatic in terms of what is given, but not why it is given. It gives life intentionally. It is hard to see how it is automatic and intentional. To explain and grasp this we look at chochmah that is undefinable – a presence without presence. This internal chochmah is the internal decision to reveal the ohr.





The nefesh recognizes/understand the merit of doing the work and enduring the pain of being in the body.


Love can be loud or quiet. Chesed represents the openess between soul and G-dliness. The soul recognizes that it is part of the G-dliness that is everywhere. Even though it has its own kochot and is a “separate” spark, it unites with the G-dly presence. The way a spark connects with a flame, on the one hand they are the same, yet we do say there is a connecting element – by its very essence it is drawn to theHidden flame – this is the hidden love – it comes from its inherent connection.


Revealed love and fear is easier to grasp, they come and go and are thus easier to perceive. Hidden love and fear are harder to perceive since they are internal and in a way, “nothing is happening” - it is an experience, yet it is a quiet experience. It is a connection, yet is one thing.

A fish in water – halachically a fish is one thing with the water – and the fish is not aware that it is in water. A fish in water is even less aware of the water than we are of breathing. A fish never closes its eyes, since it is not separate. Yet there is the element of the fish wanting the water, though it doesn't know that there is such a thing as no water. The fish has an ahavah to the water. The fish's excitement is so complete that it is quiet. This is a deeper love than revealed love. 


These are the elements of the tree of life (quite love) and tree of knowledge (excited love) – both are trees – a tree with a fruit and you can pick and eat the fruit. Tree of knowledge is something that needs to be developed – you develop you daas as you grow – there are fruit. But chaim – life – is a a constant, not something that can be developed – it is inherent – how can this be a tree? No, Chayus is also a tree, an experience, but on a completely different level.


Tree of knowledge – you learn and you don't want to repeat the same material. Tree of life is an experience, it is repeated, and there is an enormous desire and satisfaction of life, and yet there is nothing novel in it. There is an experience in living, even though it is constant. The experience is not dependent on the novelty, this seems essential, yet it is an experience.

The fish is in the water, unified with it, yet it is an experience. The experience of life is an eternal experience of the nefesh. We need the tree of life to make it practically eternal, to overcome the coarseness of the body, till the body can have eternal life.


We feel we are living the life itself, not that it is coming to us from elsewhere. Inherently a person was created to live for ever. The fact that is leaves is since the body was ruined. A person is not really aware of the possibility of not being alive, because he is experiencing eternal life, a person is essentially eternal. How can that be an experience? If it is so constant and eternal how is it experienced? It is experienced because there is significance in life.


There is such a thing as internal intelligence, sphirot and intention. These are internal hidden / treasured faculties that are for the essence. The king has known resources and artifacts, and then the king has hidden treasures that are priceless – this is his real power source. It cannot be evaluated, but it has a value. They provide the basis for his kingdom without being exposed.

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Quiet and loud

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 1/8/09 Friday 22 Tevet 5770

On page 8 – 5 lines from the bottom. 


The 10 sphirot of mah. Of the aspect of mah. These are hidden/treasured sphirot.


Principle of mah is that the aspect of announcement and self identity is unnecessary and doesn't exist. It is all within. It does not relate to expression and revelation. Chakim aval lo be chochmah yedia – wise, but without a knowable wisdom.


We say the life of the nefesh comes without effort and is an expression of the nefesh itself. Like the sun produces light without effort. But the sun does not have jurisdiction over the light that it provides - the nefesh is different – it gives life with intent and volition. So if it is intentional how can it be “automatic”? The hidden/treasured 10 sphirot address this. There is the principle that there is significance in enlivening the body, but this is all processed internally. It is intentional yet also essential.


Chessed in the nefesh elokis is ahvah and yirah, that when revealed is loud, but when concealed are quiet. Chessed per se is an element of openess and sharing. What is one open to? We are part of the world, but we are also separate entities. Our relation to the world can be in a way of kedusha or klipa. If one is “into himself” and interacts with the world because he has to – this is klipa. On the side of kedusha, the principle is that, “I am part of the big world – I don't have a reality, apart from this truth, thus my relationship with the outside world is of a personal nature. There is an inherent openess to my relationship with the rest of the world”.


Therefore there is ahavah – an inherent unity with Hashem, that finds expression in chesadim. This ahavah and yirah has an internal and external expression. This chesed and gevurah is not aroused externally. Ahavah and yirah are inherent due to the connection with Hashem – on the conscious level it comes out with excitement and on the internal level it is quiet.


Everything in the nefesh is intentional and something that is aware of and based on the truth of reality.


Everything in our world seems separate and then there is the overall containing of it, there are many people in the world and then there is I. There are many people and that is why there is I. It is not that there are many I's and this makes a world.


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Inner space

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 1/7/10 ThursdayNight 21 Tevet 5770


On page 8 – lower third of the page. Line starts, “hayeshus”.


Shem ban is representing the inyan of malchus, where malchus is hishpatus and gilui. This was the cause for the shvirah (breakdown). The yeshus inherent in the element of sphirot detohu was the cause. Since the initial ohr as it comes down, has the aspect of yesh and gilui, when it descended further it became more of a yesh, and by means of this death and falling were brought about “one who falls from his level is called a mes”.


The keilim of tohu fell into the briah, which is called the word of seperateness. Things identified as separate entities, till they fell further and became completely separate – this is where klipah denogah is created. Klipah noga means it is a metziut yesh, but it also recognizes there is such a thing as light.


Falling is forgetting one's source, and looking for an identity below. Yeshus tends towards the bottom. Yeshus tends towards identifying oneself with one's existence rather than what I stand for. Identifying with keli, rather than ohr.

Nogah is the upper level of klipah. 


“It is interesting you get something shining out of death!” Well when a good thing is done as a yesh there is an element of light.


But the sephirot in general are an inyan of metziut davar. The sphirot of mah are different. There the 10 sphirot are contained and treasured within their source. They were not brought forth to a state of revelation – they remain contained within the ohr ein sof. They don't have an element of metziut at all.


The 10 sphirot of mah are harder to relate to – the 10 of ban have a metziut davar. The 10 sphirot of mah are concealed. The sphira of chochmah of mah is not apparent at all – it is as if it is not a metziut at all. “Wise, but not with a knowable wisdom”. “10 sphirot, bli mah (without any way to grasp/describe them)” - as the Zohar says.


We can see space with open eyes, but we can also see it with closed eyes – as when we say the shema. The internal view is not substantiated from the outside. “I see it as a reality – yet I don't have to have actual space substntiate this view.” We are not relating to an image of the outer space. The reason that actual space is something we can relate to is because we have an inner space that is primary. We close our eyes so we can identify reality as we know it.

This means a person is constantly thinking, but when asked, “what are you  thinking about?” he will say, I'm not thinking. Thinking is an act, and an act is performed in space and time. Although we possess a neshamah that is above state and time, the greatest extent that we can experience the neshamah, has to be in space and time. The brain is a physical entity. So stopping thinking is not being alive – thinking is awareness, which is the connection to the neshamah.

Neshamah is the same letters as neshimah – breathing. Breathing is a  constant action. It may be a plain, automatic action, but it is due to its effortlessness that shows a life-flow. This is what a body can relate to – something that comes in and out. This is like the constant thought, the constant awareness. Thus we have a sense of inner space – this is as close as we come to a sense of essential life. Our consciousness does not just depend on the neshamah, but also on the guf. That is why understanding of elokus is almost impossible.


This inner space is an existence without a presence.  For video, click here.

And here's a poem from Yitzchak Bloom:

If There Is Anything Beyond      

If there is anything beyond

You, being where you are,

Then your horizons will expand,

If you want to see far;



For, sight is no mere matter of

What is in front of you,

Or down below or up above--

Whatever comes in view



Needs to be seen because you feel

In touch with what's about,

Because you know that it is real

As you are real, no doubt;



As everything you know is there

And lies within your ken,

And that's because you're everywhere,

You'd be or might have been.

Not up for public debate

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 1/7/09 Thursday 21 Tevet 5770

On page 8 – below the middle.


Ban is 52 is gematria behayma – the behaymah does not look at things from their inception.


Mah is gematria adam – his tendency is to look at, “what is this about”. Something may look fine, but if the inception is not good, then he stays away. He's not looking for the experiential element, he is looking for the truth.


10 shirot of ban in kedusha have the principle of revelation/presentation.

Ban is the element of melucha, which is the element of the king's rulership over the people. When you infringe, the rule or honor of the king it touches the king himself – his yeshus. This is in contrast to a differing of opinions in sechel or torah learning, where the scholar's honor is not at stake.

Yud base Tamuz – The Fredikke Rebbe was released from prison. Gimmel – his life was spared. To the chassidim the rebbe said gimmel tamuz is more important , “'cos we are concerned about the Rebbe himself”.

For video, click here. 

How can revelation come from essence?

AiynBase with R' Paltiel 1/6/09 Wednesday 20 Tevet 5770

On page 8 – “shyach”, 3 lines below the middle.


How can ohr come from etzem? Ohr is metzius davar. Ohr doesn't come from atzmus itself, not from the level where it is true unto itself, it comes from the level of atzmus that is true universally, to the outside too. The inner level is ein without a level of yesh at all.


We can look at the mashal of the sun (allowing for the limitations of the mashal). The sun is an essence/etzem of illumination. Wherever the sun is automatically becomes light. What is etzem illuminator. The sun is light through and through (unlike a candle). The sun is self-created light. Something that has this quality of essence, cannot relate to anything else. From the external level of the sun – illumination is provided to the world. The outside is considered when looking at outside that does not experience the truth of what you are. This is the effect of the sun.


Thus the metzius of atzmus is ein, that doesn't make a statement. That statement only exists externally.


In the nimshal one could ask, but there is nothing outside of Him. Part of Him is the universal truth, that is a statement for “outside”.


The fullness of etzem is that there cannot be any other way and externality is not acknowledged, but even at the most external level it is the same – this is shleimus ha-etzem.


Ban is something which expresses itself, makes itself known, as opposed to being internal to itself.

For video, click here.