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Page 34 – last quarter of the page – 7 lines from the end of the page. Line starts, “davar...”
Oneg is an experience. And experience involves the person and the subject of the experience. So even though it is on a pure level it refers to something outside and to the effect of that subject.
Oneg atzmi means the experience of the effect at its source – at its essential level – oneg on an essential level. This is unity with the essence.
Kabalot ol is the closest we can come to the level of oneg atzmi. His presence and my existence is unified.
We grasp it to the extent of recognition and knowing we cannot understand it.
The essential truth of torah, gives Him internal enjoyment (not like our enjoyment, which is in contrast to displeasure), and is superior even to the ratzon atzmi.
This is where oneg and chochmah come together. And this gives the oneg a superior quality.
The Illuminator in torah is what returns one to good, and converts dark into light.
Quick sand can pull a man deeper without him realizing. The only way to get out of it is to be pulled out from outside. This is the shashuim atzmiim – the essential playthings – the absolute truth.
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