Page 16 – close to the middle of the page. Line starts, “vegum mize she hu eved”
We're looking at the question asked this morning. The question was after shuv there is a ratzu due to the oneg of doing avodat hashem and he is drawn into into it and this pulls him towards a ratzu. So he's in a state of shuv – and only doing His will and yet he goes back to shuv.
You may think he should not allow himself oneg and simcha and a return to shuv. The oneg draws him to understand more, know more and draw closer – this is shuv. Why is this? Maybe he should have focused on just doing His will.
This question leads us to principle of chassidus. The serving of hashem is not an artificial stance on the part of the human being. You can't make a chassid by design. It connects to the inner workings of the soul.
He comes close to elokus, and the closer he comes the more awed he is. This is superhuman, and how do I dare to approach it. This is not based on saying “I'll stick with the worldly level”, rather “it is a chutzpah for me to step into that arena.” “the villager doesn't dare ask for the princess's hand in marriage”.
He appreciates the elokus aspect, is drawn in and wants more. It takes a while till he realizes the awesomeness of his pursuit. When one is affected by the oneg and glory he doesn't, at first realize the awesomeness of it.
It is not based on a decision, it is all a reality experience.
This is not a natural organic process either – it involves neshama intellect.
When one contemplates infinity, we ask how can there be something that is unlimited? Then we realize it is not a thing, it is ein – nothing – elokus – not a created entity, but the Essence and he realizes he dare not go further, since he is not in his element. And he knows that this infinity is the source of Torah and Mitzvoth.
How can I be in the world and be connected to this truth that is beyond world – the answer is that you can be in the world and connected by Torah and Mitzvoth.
Life itself – chayut is ratzu and shuv – it provides for the body, but it is life/chayut, which is not body at all.
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