“I am No Longer Interested in My Interests” p: 59

AyinBase with R' Paltiel 11/21/11 Monday 23 Cheshvan 5772 

Page 59 – about 8 lines from the end of the page (line starts: ”she yisbonen...” )  

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The amazing thing about hisbonenut/meditation and deepening of daas is that at first it begins like all thinking... based on the external structure of the world. Then you realize the underlying life/chayut to it. At that stage it merely substantiates the external structure. But as a result of hisbonenut/meditation, one approaches and relates directly to this chayut/life, and he comes very close to experiencing a spiritual life. By plain logic one doesn't reach it.

We're coming to a pint in our learning where one recognizes that the light and life that he relates to is a subset/reflection of a higher level. It is a subset because it relates to world. And he is drawn towards the Essence. This is opposite to the original starting point where all was based on worldly reality. But he becomes aware of an inyan ruchni / a spiritual reality and this becomes his new foundation, to such an extent that he is no longer interested in his prior interests.

You go for the truth not because it 'makes you feel good or complements your sechel'. This is a totally new paradigm for the animal soul. It has come to the level of there being a sechel/mind imperative to go for truth. This is a reach beyond the ratzon/will, to a level where the sechel declares, 'what one should want'. This is because the sechel recognizes a level of truth that is beyond ratzon.

This is hisbonenut: reflection in the essence of a sechel/concept, rather than on its structure.

The next step towards essence is involvement in Torah and Mitzvoth.

Due to our exposure to the worldly view, and that even the human identity is also under mined, and re-explained in a flat reactionary way, it requires inner sensitivity to the truth to break out of this structure, till one sees, 'this is the way G-d created the wthisorld!'

This is reached only by hisbonenut/meditation. This is because usually one senses that the foundation supports the house, but actually the foundation is based on the solidity of the earth and the earth 'hangs on nothing'. And the meditation allows for penetration to this level, where the world is a 'G-dly creation'.

A question was asked, 'how is the search for Essence, resulting in Torah and mitzvoth?'

there is light and life in the world. This is a G-dly light – it is real and intentional, and Him manifests himself in the world, otherwise the light would be inadvertent – and that is not intellectually acceptable – the Initiator of the light comes along and directs it – He participates in that which he creates...

He doesn't invite you into His home, and say, 'see the set table, it is for you, enjoy! See you later!' No he stays with you. The reflection of the light gives life to the world, but it is made real by His presence – this is the jump to Torah and Mitzvoth – His presence right here in the world.