pay dalet – line starts amnam – 8 lines from the bottom.
Usually there is a gateway, but at the time of Pesach there was a novel way; hashem jumped across enabling all to raise up – even those that lacked any arousal of their own.
Yet even for this there had to be some level of preparation, and that is eating matzah, which is the element of lowliness and taking on the yoke of heaven, without a full understanding. This enabled the revelation of atzmus.
The difference between matzah and chametz is that in chametz there is a chet and matzah has a hay – which is malchus. Hay also has a milui – spelling it out also with the letter hay as is seen in shem ban.
The milui is hidden. Both hay's represent malchus. Two levels of malchus. Malchus of ein sof comes through malchus of atzilus. For evey chitzoni is a pnimi that is unnoticed, but that gives it life. Still the chitzonius can assume a presence of its own and draw a person - “the eye sees and the heart desires” - the battle is to give a thought and maintain connection to pnimius.
A mitzvah is done on the external level of detail and action, yet as you pay attention to this you can see that it is due to Hashem's wanting it or that the deed is seen alone.
The principle here is that through chitzonius hamalchus we are ultimately connected to atzmus.
Malchus translates as yirah. And the two hays indicate the two levels. Lower level hay is bitul hayesh, not bitul beetzem, because there is at this point no gilui ohr, just that he nullifies himself by kabbalat ol or through hitbonenut.
Yirah ilah he is butul be etzem due to the ohr that is meir.
Bitul tata is a feigned bitul – he realizes he should subjucate himself, but internally he is the same. He does not really sense its significance – there's a lack of gilui ohr.
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