Line starts tzorech haolam. A third from the top.
We don't have a grasp of atzmus.
Memale and sovev are levels that relate only to hashpaa ve gilui – something that emanates – leaves its origin and has an affect elsewhere.
But atsmus is not in that category – it never leaves itself to go “elsewhere”. Its influence is not by means of hashpaa and gilui. Its hashpaa is by virtue of its very presence.
This means atzmus is a presence that is not translated. It is everywhere. It is sensed by his heart and flesh – it does not translate as an intellectual/sechel presentation. Atzmus cannot be identified as a separate entity. It does not lend itself to be observed from the outside.
The physical heart melts within him.
Like the earth wants to produce growth and support it, but is not seen as a participant, till you change focus and see it's activity/participation – so too, atzmus, though not recognized, is providing for everything.
A father plays hide-and-seek with his son. At first the son misses his play-mate, not the father per se. as the father remains hidden the son misses deeper and deeper aspects of their relationship and of the presence of the father. Till when he finds his father he realizes two things: His father was with him the whole time. And secondly all of his various desires had their level of significance, but the underlying factor that made all of them meaningful was the fact that he had a father. The son senses reality beyond experience.
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