Page 15 – towards the middle of the page – line starts, “lebechinat atzmut”. See sidebar on the right hand side for copy of the text.
We are in the middle of a deep topic. The more inner love comes from recognition of the exaltedness of the ohr ein sof rather than that which comes in touch with his nefesh.
How can it arounse love? Love which is a midah of the heart? This element and relating is rooted in the nefesh itself, it is not a message that comes to it from outside. It seems that the love comes from a meditation in his sechel / mind. So how is it personal and internal? Sechel itself is really a reflection of what the nefesh is. The reason we can meditate on it is because this is what is true to the sechel. Meditation / hisbonenut is not the same as learning. Hisbonenut is something that touched a cord in you and now you can meditate on it on your own.
The nefesh shuns metziut and recognizes atzmus, it recognizes non-metziut. It seeks emes, that which is true in and of itself.
How can this kind of cognizance be recognized in his midot and sechel? It comes by tzimoan – thirsting. He senses the emptiness of his consciousness. He senses a thirst – he feels the lack. He feels, “this that I am makes me dry and thirsty”.
The love in the nefesh is everpresent. The hisbonenut is to draw it into the sechel.
Recognition that the whole world is based on atzmus leads to shuv and doing torah and mitzvah's that reveal essence of the ohr ein sof. Torah and mitzvoth are the G-dly will. Kabbalos ohr is a recognition of etzem and the question, “what should I do?” that is answered by a command from above. This is an expression of atzum itself. The wold is subservient to torah and mitzvoth (not that the torah and mitzoth are illuminating the world – there is not world per se).
This love is described as a thirst. Tanya describes different levels of love – there is love like chesed – water/silver and there is love from gevurah – fire/gold and this love cannot be expressed in words, just sensed in the heart.
This level of love is a desire to lose the grasp of vessels, it doesn't lead to shuv, he wants just the ohr without the keli, he just wants to be absorbed in Him that is above the level of worlds. He wants to step out from the level of worlds. This is acutally expressing the essence of the neshamah.
צָמְאָה לְךָ נַפְשִׁי, כָּמַהּ לְךָ בְשָׂרִי, בְּאֶרֶץ צִיָּה וְעָיֵף בְּלִי מָיִם. כֵּן בַּקֺּדֶשׁ חַזִיתִךָ, לִרְאוֹת עֻזְּךָ וּכְבוֹדֶךָ
"Thirsts for You does my soul, longs for You does my flesh; in a land parched and weary with no water. So, too, in the Sanctuary to have beheld You, to see Your might and Your glory." (Tehillim 63:2,3)
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