Aeter with R' Paltiel 8/10 Monday 20 Menachem Av 5769
Pay hay – 6 lines from the top.
We are explaining yirah ilah and yirah tata.
Yirah ilah is where he is butul be etzem. Not like yirah tata where he brings the yirah on himself by hisbonenut.
Yirah ilah – bitul be etzem – not a yirah that he imposes on himself. Bitul be etzem is a response to the truth itself. He is seeing the inyan – the ohr is be gilui and he doesn't have to explain it to himself.
This is like one who comes to the king. There are 2 types of yirah in approaching the king. One is before he enters the palace – the yirah is according to his reflection on the greatness of the king and the yirah will be according to the depth of his hisbonenus.
The other yirah is when he actually enters the chamber of the king – he doesn't have to impose anything on himself and say, “hey, now i'm standing before the king.” The yirah is based on the greatness of the king himself.
When the bitul is a function of sechel that means he's (his personal identity) involved. When in the king's presence there is not self there is only the king. Thus these are the two steps. By the first he becomes fit to come before the
king and as a result of that he is able to enter the king's chamber.
If he has a natural sensitivity to greatness, when entering the king's palace he will be completely null/dissipated. If he lacks the sensitivity he will completely miss the message that comes from seeing the king.
With proper preparation he is able to both, be there and to experience the greatness. The preparation revealed the intelligence that is needed to relate to being in the king's presence. Just to be subdued and nullified is not experiencing the king. The keili to receive the king's presence is his bitul. Prior to his hisbonenus he felt reality was “yeshus”, and if something of gilui ohr is coming on this reality it clashes completely.
With hisbonenus he realizes yeshus is not all there is – he comes in contact with a higher reality – this bitul becomes his vessel to accept the actual greatness that follows (when he's in the king's presence) – accept it and process it – and that processing doesn't create a yesh, but a deeper bitul – his metzius is the metzius of the king. It his not his sechel – it is the truth itsefl that he recognizes.
The best mashal we have for this bitul be metzius is chochmah. Just like sight relates to the truth, you see it 'cos it is there.
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